In the States not even a day could be boring, every day something happens or you see someone and then you’re laying on the floor laughing like crazy.
Please let me share with you my favorite ones.
1. The one with the Amish women
Maybe you saw them in the movies, nice, conservative community, that’s all i know about them too, don’t worry. Ok, so now imagine these women going to the Victoria Secret lingerie. Where already in the entrance you see all those posters with such a sexuality, even i’m blushing (no).
2. Let’s do workout in the mall
Everyday thing, women together, walking with a high speed next to each other in a sport dress, sometimes with barbells in the hands. I heard that sometimes people come with yoga mat, putting into the corner and starting to do their practice. Haha, it’s the end of the world! And the winter is just coming! So, be prepared, the mall will be a huge fitness center. I guess the beautiful mountains, forests, roads surrounded with trees are just too mainstream places to do Nordic walking.
3. Let’s sleep in the Mall
This is also an everyday thing, like there is a guy, he’s coming literally every day, sit on the couch and in minutes falling to sleep, hilarious 🙂
4. Woman – Man
Last week, i saw a tall old guy in woman clothes, eye glasses, with a wig carelessly put on the head, actually you could see his gray hair…Of course in seconds he went to Victoria Secret. No offense, i don’t have any problem with transsexual people, but he was such a phenomenon, i couldn’t stop to stare at him. After couple of minutes, he showed up with a VS bag, therefore i turned a round, because i started to laugh badly, and i didn’t want him to see. Of course when i turned back, he was in front of me, and he asked me this question:
– Excuse me, you know where is the closest lady’s room? (of course with a deep voice)
– It’s, in Sears, on the left, a bit tricky but i’m sure you will find it!
On the way back we talked a bit, he showed me that we have almost the same nail color. He made my day!
5. Do you believe in God?
In the last days we got an old man, in motorcycle jacket, with sunglasses, who showed me his daughter’s picture, then just asked me if i believed in God. I said, i believe in something, but i wouldn’t give a name for that. I guess he didn’t expect this answer, so in 10 minutes (way too long time for me) with stories from the Bible, he explained to me, if i were not a believer then when Jesus is coming back, i will have 666 on my forehead. After that i went to a double shoot espresso, because he just took all of my energy….weirdo.
6. Do you like vodka? I give you one
From one of my customer i received a mini bottle of vodka from her bag. She liked to talk a lot and i’m not sure if she was sober at all that day…
7. Halloween in the Mall
Or how to dress up our children with really ugly costumes, and also we need to wear something to look like idiots. I saw some really fat fairies, tini ninja turtle family. Daddy made Thomas the tank engine, inside with a little shy child. Little babies lost in the costume, because it was so big for them. Daddy in pig costume. Total chaos for 2 hours, when they went to different stores to get free candies.They had the list with all of the locations, and they ran to each of them. I think i was standing for 1 hour with chin down, with the “whatthefuckisthis” face. It was totally crazy…and you don’t even know how much they payed for those costumes.
The next exciting day will be the Black Friday, when the stores will have insane deals, discounts, they will open after midnight. Everybody will run with lost mind to stores to stores, like fighting for his life to be the first at the open store or to obtain something for a really cheap price.
8. About the toilette
For some reason there is a huge gap around the doors on the toilet, therefore you can see in the eyes of someone who washes her hands. I think they just wanted to save money. The other funny thing, the automatic flush, if you were clever, then you need to jump 1 meter from the toilette, or getting strange look from your colleagues after your bathroom break.
9. About Tinder
I know, what about Tinder here in the blog? My sister mentioned that i really should see this app when i come here. But why?
Let’s make picture with recently catched fishes, with a tractor, with grandma, with plaid shirt, with baseball hat, during wood-cutting. When i have a bad mood, i just look at those pictures, and the laugh is guaranteed.
10. The name of the cities
Yesterday we drove through 3 states until we arrived to Maine. We saw these names on the boards: Berlin, Rome, Amsterdam, Rotterdam, Sidney, London, Albany , Greece, Haverhill, Manchester. Lack of creativity? Who knows, about Weedsport i don’t even want to talk about.